Still got icky tummy (stress goes straight there!) and the tablets I think are compounding it, not really sure.
Chiara had another episode in the night last night. We had not had one for a couple of weeks. Very sicky tummy feeling plus she can't stop shaking, sometimes she is sick, sometimes she isn't. I can't really get a link of food/drink between all these episodes which have been over the last couple of months, often once a week. Several have been after a party, another after a hectic and late play session and then now she is worried about having her tooth extracted Friday. So I am wondering if her problems are stress related too? Or whether she is being affected by the tooth abcess. She was given anti-b's by the dentist and things eased. Will wait and see if having the tooth out makes any difference, if not then I will be taking her to the doctors see if they have any suggestions.
More things happening in my life ....
Accounts
and
Rain
and
Friends .......... thank heavens for friends! I had a weep at the school gate last night (yes embarrassing I know) and my beautiful, lovely and very kind friend Sharon took me home for a cuppa, under the guise of us all needing a cuddle and play with her two sweet new little kitties. Thanks Sharon!
Rainclouds and silver linings
Well I didn't spend the night writhing in agony after popping my first pill last night - will be doing the second one just after typing this post - it did make me feel decidedly woozy so I am going straight upstairs this time.
I've had lots of message of support and many wise words. I am struggling to put my thoughts together well at the moment so I haven't responded to everyone personally yet, but I aim to.
Had a bleugh day overall today (rain hasn't stopped one moment since before 8am and it is now twenty past midnight) plus a visit from the accountant to go through financial stuff. Hard and unappealing financial stuff I've been trying to ignore but which has gone a long way to making me so ill over the last couple of years. Hopefully though now we have someone who knows the best way forward with different things. It is going to be a really long and tough road though for quite a long time (years) to come I think.
Brightness - I got a goody box of stuff from a Rouge De Garance NSD blog challenge. Especially lush. Unfortunately I have dreary stuff to contend with over the next few days so no creating time, but it's going to be there waiting for me still at the end!
To say I needed the lift opening the box gave is an understatement.
Off now to pop the pill, night all, sleep tight :)
I've had lots of message of support and many wise words. I am struggling to put my thoughts together well at the moment so I haven't responded to everyone personally yet, but I aim to.
Had a bleugh day overall today (rain hasn't stopped one moment since before 8am and it is now twenty past midnight) plus a visit from the accountant to go through financial stuff. Hard and unappealing financial stuff I've been trying to ignore but which has gone a long way to making me so ill over the last couple of years. Hopefully though now we have someone who knows the best way forward with different things. It is going to be a really long and tough road though for quite a long time (years) to come I think.
Brightness - I got a goody box of stuff from a Rouge De Garance NSD blog challenge. Especially lush. Unfortunately I have dreary stuff to contend with over the next few days so no creating time, but it's going to be there waiting for me still at the end!
To say I needed the lift opening the box gave is an understatement.
Off now to pop the pill, night all, sleep tight :)
Deep Breaths and WOWEE!
Well I'll start with the WOWEE moment first.
A huge thanks to Laura over at Scrapbook Chalet for including me in her DT line-up starting August. Thrilled is a mega understatement. It's a really friendly site that I happened on when hunting down members of another, now deceased, US forum I used to be a member of. Everyone has been so welcoming and friendly and it's not at all cliquey. Nor have they complained about my English spellings :D I am so excited to have the chance to showcase their beautiful kits and to work with the rest of the girls on there.
Now for the deep breaths. After posting last night about being given some meds for my depression, several girls recommended that I take them at night time rather than morning. Ever the procrastinator I thought I would follow their advice. But come 11.30 I couldn't put the moment off any longer. I am really apprehensive about the side effects as most of them are symptoms of my depression to start with and I really want to be feeling better, not worse! I don't know if it is my imagination (I know, I know I shouldn't have read the side effects blurb on the leaflet) but I am feeling rather woozy, a bit like when I've had a couple of glasses of wine - which is all it takes to make me drunk. I think I will be heading up to bed soon.
Thanks to everyone for your kind messages and words of encouragement and particularly of experience. {group hug} moment :)
A huge thanks to Laura over at Scrapbook Chalet for including me in her DT line-up starting August. Thrilled is a mega understatement. It's a really friendly site that I happened on when hunting down members of another, now deceased, US forum I used to be a member of. Everyone has been so welcoming and friendly and it's not at all cliquey. Nor have they complained about my English spellings :D I am so excited to have the chance to showcase their beautiful kits and to work with the rest of the girls on there.
Now for the deep breaths. After posting last night about being given some meds for my depression, several girls recommended that I take them at night time rather than morning. Ever the procrastinator I thought I would follow their advice. But come 11.30 I couldn't put the moment off any longer. I am really apprehensive about the side effects as most of them are symptoms of my depression to start with and I really want to be feeling better, not worse! I don't know if it is my imagination (I know, I know I shouldn't have read the side effects blurb on the leaflet) but I am feeling rather woozy, a bit like when I've had a couple of glasses of wine - which is all it takes to make me drunk. I think I will be heading up to bed soon.
Thanks to everyone for your kind messages and words of encouragement and particularly of experience. {group hug} moment :)
After six and a half years
I have finally got medication from the doctor for my depression.
My latest bout of depression started when I was pregnant with Mia (who is now 6) and the doctors had not a clue what to do with me whilst I was pregnant. I never went to the clinic or anything after I had Mia and so slipped through the net. A couple of years ago I had a seriously bad downturn again and went to the doctor but he just suggested I try reflexology (which I did but couldn't stand the woman doing it she didn't shut up rattling for the full half hour!).
Yet more bad news on the home front this week and I am even further down that black hole, which is something I didn't think was possible. However I got an emergency appointment at the doctors today and have been sent away with meds called Sertraline. The side effects sound like they will compound all the feelings I currently have (depression, nausea, headaches, sleeplessness, lack of concentration) so I really hope they don't affect me like that. They aren't expected to kick in for 2-4 weeks but I have a follow up appointment with the doctor next week, I'm wondering if this is to increase the dosage; I've done a little Googling and they seem to be something you have to get into gently (and then get out of gently, hopefully when the light appears at the end of the tunnel).
Any spare hugs gratefully received and thanks to everyone who has given squishy ones so far ... I can't begin to describe how much your thoughts mean to me.
My latest bout of depression started when I was pregnant with Mia (who is now 6) and the doctors had not a clue what to do with me whilst I was pregnant. I never went to the clinic or anything after I had Mia and so slipped through the net. A couple of years ago I had a seriously bad downturn again and went to the doctor but he just suggested I try reflexology (which I did but couldn't stand the woman doing it she didn't shut up rattling for the full half hour!).
Yet more bad news on the home front this week and I am even further down that black hole, which is something I didn't think was possible. However I got an emergency appointment at the doctors today and have been sent away with meds called Sertraline. The side effects sound like they will compound all the feelings I currently have (depression, nausea, headaches, sleeplessness, lack of concentration) so I really hope they don't affect me like that. They aren't expected to kick in for 2-4 weeks but I have a follow up appointment with the doctor next week, I'm wondering if this is to increase the dosage; I've done a little Googling and they seem to be something you have to get into gently (and then get out of gently, hopefully when the light appears at the end of the tunnel).
Any spare hugs gratefully received and thanks to everyone who has given squishy ones so far ... I can't begin to describe how much your thoughts mean to me.
A Trip Down Memory Lane
Just a quick little toot, I was very kindly asked by Mel and Jill to be one of two guest designers this month. I received a lovely kit of Crate Papers Zoom range to work with.
I had a slight problem in that my little boy photos are around 10 years old and not idyllic photos for showcasing, but I had to work with what I had and it was lovely to reminisce over those little boy days again.
The gallery for July can be seen on the ATDML website
With all the bad weather I have been really struggling with getting decent photos of projects too which is a bit of a pain.
Oh and it's the Design Collective mailing again tomorrow. I have a class in this one. Again I worked with some less than perfect photos, nor could I remember where or when the photos were taken, so coming up with a title/journaling slant took a lot of figuring. I got there in the end and I really like what I did. I forgot to take a sneak peek shot before but it uses some lovely subtle We R Memory Keepers papers (from the Restoration range) and *gasp* even some flowers on a boy page :D
The weather has been dry today, I hope it stays like that tonight and tomorrow. Josh has gone camping from school as part of the Enrichment Week (when I was there it was just called Projects Week). Monday was The Black Country Museum (which he thought was fab!) today and tomorrow are camping, Thursday is Doncaster Dome (swimming and ice skating) and Friday is a pootling about day with his tutor at school.
It brings back memories for me (though somehow I can only remember three of the four years worth of Projects Weeks, no matter how much I try I cannot figure what I did for the missing year!) I definitely spent a week one year doing Pottery (I think that was my first year) my third year was a week spent in Skegness helping out with mentally handicapped adults (oh my the stories I have from what happened on evenings off!) and the fourth year (lower sixth) was a week spent on a canal boat. This is the most memorable as it resulted in a youthful romance with a boy I had been ogling at for many months!
So as you can see, this week has been 'a trip down memory lane' in more ways than one!
I had a slight problem in that my little boy photos are around 10 years old and not idyllic photos for showcasing, but I had to work with what I had and it was lovely to reminisce over those little boy days again.
The gallery for July can be seen on the ATDML website
With all the bad weather I have been really struggling with getting decent photos of projects too which is a bit of a pain.
Oh and it's the Design Collective mailing again tomorrow. I have a class in this one. Again I worked with some less than perfect photos, nor could I remember where or when the photos were taken, so coming up with a title/journaling slant took a lot of figuring. I got there in the end and I really like what I did. I forgot to take a sneak peek shot before but it uses some lovely subtle We R Memory Keepers papers (from the Restoration range) and *gasp* even some flowers on a boy page :D
The weather has been dry today, I hope it stays like that tonight and tomorrow. Josh has gone camping from school as part of the Enrichment Week (when I was there it was just called Projects Week). Monday was The Black Country Museum (which he thought was fab!) today and tomorrow are camping, Thursday is Doncaster Dome (swimming and ice skating) and Friday is a pootling about day with his tutor at school.
It brings back memories for me (though somehow I can only remember three of the four years worth of Projects Weeks, no matter how much I try I cannot figure what I did for the missing year!) I definitely spent a week one year doing Pottery (I think that was my first year) my third year was a week spent in Skegness helping out with mentally handicapped adults (oh my the stories I have from what happened on evenings off!) and the fourth year (lower sixth) was a week spent on a canal boat. This is the most memorable as it resulted in a youthful romance with a boy I had been ogling at for many months!
So as you can see, this week has been 'a trip down memory lane' in more ways than one!
AAAGH technology!
Mare of a day with wires everywhere and trying to figure out which bit is the bit that wasn't working. An extra long session in PC World with BOTH my wireless router AND my new HP printer. Very thankfully Belkin products apparently are a no quibble exchange within guarantee PLUS with the printer I had the foresight to take out an extended warranty £12 for 3 years on a £60 printer. I was wondering at the time why I had bothered, but my I am glad now! Apparently without the PC World warranty they would have sent the printer back to HP for them to test it and I would be printer-less. WITH the warranty PC World tested it there, found it to be faulty (yep I know, brand new printer only printing out pink, something was wrong, it could have chosen to only print out green instead :D) so got me a new one straight off the shelf.
I love HP products and have been a satisfied customer of their stuff for many a year so I was shocked when my printer gave up the ghost last night. It's a no bells and no whistles model I've got but it still gives good quality prints (Photosmart D6160) I just hope this replacement gives me the quality service I expect!
Oh and the other thing, I eventually upgraded our telephone out of sheer exasperation and necessity. The old new phone (if you follow me) stopped working a few months ago and Len's dad bought an old old old one down from their loft. Okay it was a push button phone but it didn't have touch tone functions. So when you are calling technical support or customer services or other numbers and are hit with those press 1 for ... press 2 for .... recordings, I couldn't get anywhere. On the odd occasion just holding the line would get you through to the operator, but not very often. And the other telephone/answer phone just will not work with the new fax and broadband set up AT ALL. If you plug it in then the broadband goes wonky and the fax doesn't work. So I got a cheapo trio set (without answer phone) which are all charging up as I type. This means I will get chance to get to a phone before the 5 rings are up and the fax machine kicks in!
Hoping for a rain free day tomorrow as I have lots of projects I have to get good photos for and I need some good daylight to get good shots.
I have been tagged by Angela and will be back with that one too ... I just think I am going to have an early night tonight. TBH I'm pretty sick of the sight of this room today :D
I love HP products and have been a satisfied customer of their stuff for many a year so I was shocked when my printer gave up the ghost last night. It's a no bells and no whistles model I've got but it still gives good quality prints (Photosmart D6160) I just hope this replacement gives me the quality service I expect!
Oh and the other thing, I eventually upgraded our telephone out of sheer exasperation and necessity. The old new phone (if you follow me) stopped working a few months ago and Len's dad bought an old old old one down from their loft. Okay it was a push button phone but it didn't have touch tone functions. So when you are calling technical support or customer services or other numbers and are hit with those press 1 for ... press 2 for .... recordings, I couldn't get anywhere. On the odd occasion just holding the line would get you through to the operator, but not very often. And the other telephone/answer phone just will not work with the new fax and broadband set up AT ALL. If you plug it in then the broadband goes wonky and the fax doesn't work. So I got a cheapo trio set (without answer phone) which are all charging up as I type. This means I will get chance to get to a phone before the 5 rings are up and the fax machine kicks in!
Hoping for a rain free day tomorrow as I have lots of projects I have to get good photos for and I need some good daylight to get good shots.
I have been tagged by Angela and will be back with that one too ... I just think I am going to have an early night tonight. TBH I'm pretty sick of the sight of this room today :D
Rain, rain go away
I am so fed up of the rain I could scream and I probably would if I thought it would make one iota of a difference to the weather, but seeing as it wouldn't the screams are staying inside my head.
The village flooded a little last week, not too major (well very major for a couple of houses on the riverbank plus the pub and the church hall) but the waters did recede very quickly (unlike for some poor villages further North). These photos are from around 10am, apparently it was much worse a couple of hours before, there was no way Josh could get across from our side of the village to the other for the bus. In fact the bus did manage to get through the water BUT it flooded and everyone inside was soaked apparently! Lots of vehicles tried to get through and ended up being stranded, though, by the time we got there for viewing, most could get through from our side (Matlock Road side of the village) if they were turning up for the A610 but the water was still quite deep for those vehicles attempting to continue on the A6 to Derby.
The photo of our garden shows how the river burst it's banks. I forgot (doh!) to take any photos of this until later on in the afternoon, but prior to this you couldn't see any grass in that field. It wasn't as bad as a few years ago (around 6/7 years ago I think I was pregnant with Mia at the time) as the water didn't manage to drain away so quickly last time.
The problem we have here is that we lie in the Derwent Valley (which is a World Heritage Site at this point here!) and when the rain has been heavy and consistent 'up North' and the dams and reservoirs up there get full, they have to open the gates so to speak to let it all out, and this is where it comes. It's made worse in the village at the point the photos are taken because that is where another small river - the Amber - joins the Derwent. Josh and his friend are playing in the Hurt Arms car park btw and in the corner, not shown in the photo, are a couple of caravans which couldn't be moved because of all the security features. Luckily the other caravan owners had the foresight to move their vehicles off the caravan field and up onto higher ground (aka the railway station car park).
I've been feeling quite off colour lately, black moods combined with other strange feelings that I've not really figured out yet. I think a trip to the doc might finally be in order. After 6 years (at least) of trying to cope without tablets I think it is time for me to throw in the towel and see if any meds can help me out here. That in itself is quite a frightening thought. I have been depressed for so many years now I really can't remember what I was like before.
Anyhow .... I have managed a couple of little scrapping bits this week, not as much as needed, but still I have made a start into the mountain of deadlines (plus a couple just for the heck of it). The first was for a weekly extra example for The Design Collective, we were talking about what to do with the pile of school portrait photos lots of us have. I used these gorgeous Cosmo Cricket Dutch Girl papers which are just perfect for the girls, still looking for something suitable for Josh's though.
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And then tonight I just fancied a play and, unsurprisingly, the desk was way to messy to contemplate tackling at this time of night. I also wanted to play with some text to path elements I had purchased a while ago. Hmm, I am useless at naming digital stuff but I think I used - papers, ribbon and flower elements Tia Bennett's freebie from 2peas, Spring Time Fever, the title I created myself, the text to path is by Rebecca Myers, the grungy overlays by Lauren Bavin and the buttons Shabby Shoppe Bella collection. I am really at the beginners stage of digital scrapping and you can see I'm not good enough for anything adventurous as yet. I had been using PSE2 but upgraded to PSE5, had a peep at it and scuttled away in fear because the whole interface is so different that I seem to be learning from step 1 again.
And ..... must, must, must, get some piccies taken for a post about my wonderful weekend away the other weekend to meet lots of luvverly ladies that I usually only get to talk to on a forum. It was a fab weekend .... more about that tomorrow!
The village flooded a little last week, not too major (well very major for a couple of houses on the riverbank plus the pub and the church hall) but the waters did recede very quickly (unlike for some poor villages further North). These photos are from around 10am, apparently it was much worse a couple of hours before, there was no way Josh could get across from our side of the village to the other for the bus. In fact the bus did manage to get through the water BUT it flooded and everyone inside was soaked apparently! Lots of vehicles tried to get through and ended up being stranded, though, by the time we got there for viewing, most could get through from our side (Matlock Road side of the village) if they were turning up for the A610 but the water was still quite deep for those vehicles attempting to continue on the A6 to Derby.
The photo of our garden shows how the river burst it's banks. I forgot (doh!) to take any photos of this until later on in the afternoon, but prior to this you couldn't see any grass in that field. It wasn't as bad as a few years ago (around 6/7 years ago I think I was pregnant with Mia at the time) as the water didn't manage to drain away so quickly last time.
The problem we have here is that we lie in the Derwent Valley (which is a World Heritage Site at this point here!) and when the rain has been heavy and consistent 'up North' and the dams and reservoirs up there get full, they have to open the gates so to speak to let it all out, and this is where it comes. It's made worse in the village at the point the photos are taken because that is where another small river - the Amber - joins the Derwent. Josh and his friend are playing in the Hurt Arms car park btw and in the corner, not shown in the photo, are a couple of caravans which couldn't be moved because of all the security features. Luckily the other caravan owners had the foresight to move their vehicles off the caravan field and up onto higher ground (aka the railway station car park).
I've been feeling quite off colour lately, black moods combined with other strange feelings that I've not really figured out yet. I think a trip to the doc might finally be in order. After 6 years (at least) of trying to cope without tablets I think it is time for me to throw in the towel and see if any meds can help me out here. That in itself is quite a frightening thought. I have been depressed for so many years now I really can't remember what I was like before.
Anyhow .... I have managed a couple of little scrapping bits this week, not as much as needed, but still I have made a start into the mountain of deadlines (plus a couple just for the heck of it). The first was for a weekly extra example for The Design Collective, we were talking about what to do with the pile of school portrait photos lots of us have. I used these gorgeous Cosmo Cricket Dutch Girl papers which are just perfect for the girls, still looking for something suitable for Josh's though.
.jpg)
.jpg)
And then tonight I just fancied a play and, unsurprisingly, the desk was way to messy to contemplate tackling at this time of night. I also wanted to play with some text to path elements I had purchased a while ago. Hmm, I am useless at naming digital stuff but I think I used - papers, ribbon and flower elements Tia Bennett's freebie from 2peas, Spring Time Fever, the title I created myself, the text to path is by Rebecca Myers, the grungy overlays by Lauren Bavin and the buttons Shabby Shoppe Bella collection. I am really at the beginners stage of digital scrapping and you can see I'm not good enough for anything adventurous as yet. I had been using PSE2 but upgraded to PSE5, had a peep at it and scuttled away in fear because the whole interface is so different that I seem to be learning from step 1 again.
And ..... must, must, must, get some piccies taken for a post about my wonderful weekend away the other weekend to meet lots of luvverly ladies that I usually only get to talk to on a forum. It was a fab weekend .... more about that tomorrow!
Summer Special on class subscriptions
over at the Design Collective.
I've been very remiss and not updated my blog for an age. I've been busy scrapping stuff for my up coming class on the Design Collective (as well as other things).
And I should really have been shouting from the roof tops about our fabby limited offer subscription which closes tonight 11pm GMT.
Pay via paypal for three months subscription and you get a fourth month for FREE!
So that is 48 classes direct to your email box to print and/or file and use to scrap a class at your leisure for the total sum of £30. That's just over 60p a class. Bargain or what!
Details are on the blog which explains things in more detail and also gives the link to our forum to enable you to sign up for this fabby offer.
I've been very remiss and not updated my blog for an age. I've been busy scrapping stuff for my up coming class on the Design Collective (as well as other things).
And I should really have been shouting from the roof tops about our fabby limited offer subscription which closes tonight 11pm GMT.
Pay via paypal for three months subscription and you get a fourth month for FREE!
So that is 48 classes direct to your email box to print and/or file and use to scrap a class at your leisure for the total sum of £30. That's just over 60p a class. Bargain or what!
Details are on the blog which explains things in more detail and also gives the link to our forum to enable you to sign up for this fabby offer.
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